I know, I know,... This blog is not very looked after at the moment but I am quite busy between work, magazine orders, etc... And I just want some me time too... So as some projects have been published quite a while ago onto the Merly Impressions blog and that I have a few other things to talk about I thought I would do a "bundle" post.
Well, what is that "me time" I am talking about? I think that for this story I should start at the, well, start...
I always have had weight problems all the way throughout my life, from a child to this day. I have had a few years where I have been kind of happy with my reflection but after a few years being comfortable in my relationship the pounds crept back on and end of september 2011 I was at 13st 11 lb knowing that I am only 5ft 2in... The thing is, I had tried to start loosing wight for at least 3 years previous to that but failures after failures, my confidence had reached rock bottom and I was convinced I was destined to be large sized for the rest of my life. At just 27 years old, this wasn't a great state of mind to be into!
Facebook is what triggered the change. Let me explain. I was going through all the news from friends I had been at school with and I could see all those wonderful things they were achieving, those great places they were going on holidays to, how good and happy they looked and a I felt the bitter taste of jealousy. I was jealous that it was them and not me leading these lives! But the rational side of my brain kicked in and I literally heard a voice say to me "Well, only you can make those changes. It won't be given to you on a plate and if you want this, you will have to work for it. If it doesn't happen, you only have yourself to blame!". Slap in the face. THE moment when reality kicked my backside and my eyes opened wide open.
So I decided to make a change. I would start with my body as I thought that if I was happy with who I was and what I looked like I would be able to make the further changes I wanted to see happen.
So I started looking at what I was eating. I didn't say anything to anyone apart from my "other half" about what I was doing as I didn't want people to think I was a failure was I not to see it through once more. I wanted to take things one step at a time, not pressuring myself, with in mind to make changes that I would be able to keep for life. I wanted to learn how not to knock myself down for having a bad day or week and how to get back on track once the obstacle was out of the way. The idea was not to lose the weight in a restricted amount of time but to lose the weight in however long it would take me to get to a healthy goal.
By December 2011 I had lost just over a stone but all the Christmas treats got me a bit off track. Still, I decided to enjoy myself and take my time over this journey. After all, I had a few years of bad habits to work on! By end of April 2012 I had lost another half a stone. But then between May and early August the weight loss completely stopped. I didn't put back any wight on but I wasn't able to get back into a weight loss frame of mind. I think I had hit a wall. Nobody seemed to have notice my wight loss and I got a bit down. I had been hoping that by then people would have started making comments about how I was changing, after all, I could see my body change, so why couldn't others see those changes? It took a lot of refocussing, re-prioritising but I got back on track. I had that goal of being able to fit in my ski trousers for Christmas 2012 as we were going to France to spend the Holidays with my family.
By the time we were due to fly to France I had lost 3st. God I was proud! I could just fit in my ski trousers (they were tight mind you but I could close them!) and my entire family was gobsmacked as none of them knew I had lost any weight at all.
I had a great time, was able to ski for longer then just 30 minutes as in the past my weight had been such a problem that my legs would be excruciating after just a couple of runs down the slopes, but more than anything, I was getting my confidence back, feeling pretty and feminine again!
We got back to the UK and I was determined to get back on track! I took January off to give me time to get back into the swing of things but as I write this post I have lost 3st 10lb. I still have a stone to loose and I am taking my time over it! But I am looooving looking after myself, dressing smart, putting make-up on and being the woman I always wanted to be. So to be honest, if this blog has been unloved lately, it is because in a way, I rather play with my eye shadow and hair straighteners then write anything on here!
But I have been crafting too and here are a few things I have made but haven't taken the time to share.
I hope my story inspired you in some ways!